I picked this book up during the Trans Rights Readathon. I do have a Youtube video where I talk about it and my own experience with gender, so be sure to check that out if you're interested.
This is a graphic memoir of Maia Kobabe's life as e learns about eir identity. E details realizing e didn't feel like a girl (which was eir assigned at birth gender). E felt like eir body wasn't right, e didn't understand what e was supposed to about eir body. It's really a journey of this doesn't work, this doesn't work, this doesn't work until e figured out what e wanted to identify with. Finding the right pronouns (e/em/eir). Coming out to people, especially at a time when there was a lack of knowledge about gender-nonconforming people. Coming out to people who viewed being transgender or nonbinary as misogyny. Trying out things sexually and relationship-wise and realizing it didn't work. Eventually realizing what made em most comfortable.
I think for me, as I talk about in my Youtube video, it resonates a lot as a person who's always struggled with gender identity. I think reading this really helped me to realize that I need to stop trying to fit perfectly into every identity I think is right for me. I don't fit into woman perfectly, I don't fit into nonbinary perfectly, I don't fit into asexuality perfectly. I'm coming to realize that, that's okay and it's okay not to define myself.
I think that this is a great book for people who want to know more about the experience of trans and nonbinary people (from one person's perspective, of course, this isn't the experience of every trans and nonbinary person). I also think it's a great read if you are someone who is questioning your own gender and maybe questioning asexuality. I think that reading this will help you to work through that a little bit as you think about what Kobabe writes.
There are some heavy content warnings in this book. There is gender dysphoria, medical trauma (it's more about Maia's genital dysphoria and how that makes em unable to get a gynecological exam), sexual content, and more. There is also the mention of Harry Potter houses so if that is something that makes you uncomfortable (because JK Rowling is a bigot who hates trans people), then just be aware of that. For a better list of content warnings, check out StoryGraph for a list from both the author and other readers.
If you're interested in purchasing the book, you can help me out as well as not supporting Amazon and instead, supporting local bookstores by buying the book on Bookshop.org.
As always, happy reading, and I will see you soon.
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