Review: Sacrificial Animals by Kailee Pederson

 

Sacrificial Animals tells the story of a man who grew up on a farm, Stag's Crossing, with his father and brother. His father was a strict man who was hard to please. Our narrator Nick was the second son, too much like his mother, and a disappointment to his father. His mother died in childbirth leaving him alone with his father who was unable to show his love for his children and frequently beat them. Their tasks on the farm took an emotional toll on Nick who had a soft heart like his mother and struggled to kill animals the way his father and brother could. As a teen, Nick dealt with a fox that kept infiltrating the hen house and killing his chickens, but Nick struggled with this fox too. His soft heart made him weak in the eyes of his father. This of course is the past which the reader gets flashbacks to throughout the book. 

In the present, Nick has moved away from Stag's Crossing when his father calls him to tell him he is dying. He tells Nick he must come back and he must call his brother to make him come back, too. Joshua, the firstborn, was disowned by his father when he brought home his Asian wife. His father was against this woman who he saw as a stranger infiltrating their home. Nick calls Joshua and although Joshua refuses to return home, Nick knows he will. 

Nick and Joshua's wife, Emelia fly home first, meeting at the airport and driving home together. Nick has had an infatuation with Emelia since he first met her at her wedding. Something about her was deeply appealing to him. When they return to Stag's Crossing, Nick's father acts as if he never had any objection to Emelia. The longer Nick spends time with Emelia, the more his interest turns into an obsession. 

While reading this book, I was deeply drawn in. The writing was very magnetic and had me coming back for more. The actual story I didn't find all that engaging. For a horror book, it just didn't strike the sense of dread I think it intended. I wasn't expecting jump scares, but I think I was supposed to get a daunting realization that something was just deeply wrong with this family and I just didn't. Even the "twist" at the end was not a shock to me. However, the quality of the writing was wonderful. I could probably read this author's grocery lists or daily routine and I still want more. Perhaps I wasn't reading it as intellectually as I was supposed to and maybe that's why I missed the horror aspect of the story. Don't get me wrong, the story itself was interesting enough, but it just wasn't what did it for me. I think if you like more of an intellectual horror, this is a book you would enjoy, or if you just like quality writing. 

As for content warnings, there is sexual content, animal violence, description of animal injury, child abuse, parent becoming ill, parent death, baby death, and more. Please be aware before reading. 

Review: The Alone Time by Elle Marr Narrated by Jennifer Aquino, Christina Ho, Naomi Mayo, and Kenneth Lee

 

Yet another book by one of my favorite authors, Elle Marr. I listened to this on the drive back from visiting my boyfriend at the beginning of summer. I will say, this is not my favorite of Marr's books, unfortunately this one and the one I read before, The Family Bones, just don't match up with the quality of her other books. Still, I enjoyed listening to this book on my way home. 

This book is about two grown women who survived a terrible plane crash that resulted in their parents' deaths and left them alone in the woods when they were children. They referred to this time as the alone time in which they did what they could to survive on their own. 

Fiona, the older sister, becomes an artist as an adult and incorporates her experiences from the alone time into her art. She's just beginning to get the recognition she's been wanting when a documentary director comes to talk to her about her experience in the woods. She's completely against this until her father's alleged mistress comes out of the woodwork claiming to have additional information about the period before the fatal flight. 

Violet, the younger sister, is in college once again after struggling with addiction for a long time. She's become estranged from her sister, but when she's approached by the aforementioned director, she shows up on her sister's doorstep. Together they decide they need to ensure the narrative of their story in the woods needs to be controlled by them which they must do by participating in the documentary. The director claims to be 100% on their side, desiring only to tell their side of the story, but can they really trust him? 

Jumps back in time immediately reveal that despite what the girls said, their parents survived the initial crash and were with them, alive, in the first few days. I quickly began to question why they lied about their parents dying in the crash and what exactly they were hiding about the alone time.

Marr's time jumps are one of the things about her writing that draws me in. It's interesting fitting the past and present together like a puzzle to figure out the truth behind the mystery. I was really hanging on, desperate to figure out what exactly happened, but I will admit I was a bit disappointed in the ending. I feel that the "twist" just didn't match up with the usual surprise of Marr's twists. 

Although I think she has better books, I still really enjoyed listening to this one. It was entertaining and kept me on the edge of my seat wanting to find out the truth. If you're looking for something fun to read or listen to, this may be the book for you. I'm excited to see what Marr writes next. 

As always, happy reading! 

Review: The Family Bones by Elle Marr Narrated by Jesse Vilinsky, Sura Siu, Jennifer Jill Araya, and Arnell Powell

 

If you've read some of my other posts, you'd know that I am a big fan of Elle Marr. Her stories are fascinating and the way her audiobooks are done makes the stories so engaging. This book lived up to those expectations. I especially love that each character has their own narrator, it really makes the story more engaging. 

Following the stories of three different women, a story emerges piece by piece. One narrator, Olivia, is a 22-year-old graduate student (just like me) studying psychopaths due to her family's legacy of being psychopaths. Olivia is disconnected from her family which I definitely think is valid at worst some of them are murderers at best they're extreme narcissists. Olivia's avoidance of her family ends when a postcard comes in the mail telling her the Eriksen family (her family) is having a reunion. Eager to get more evidence for her dissertation, she decides to take herself and her fiance on the trip. The trip takes a turn for the worse on the first night when Olivia's cousin turns up dead in the lake. Immediately family members are suspicious and make guesses about who the murder could be. 

Another narrator is an unidentified woman writing in her diary. She details falling in love with a man she calls Teddy. Everything is going well until suddenly it's not. His family is odd and he is very defensive of them. Her life becomes more and more entangled with his and eventually, she becomes pregnant with his child. She's excited to be a mother, but her child ends up not being exactly what she expected. 

The last narrator is Birdie. Birdie is a true crime podcaster who focuses on the cases of people of color, whose stories are often neglected by the police and media. Based on a tip from an unknown source, Birdie begins investigating the disappearance of Li Ming Na who disappeared from a vacation with her boyfriend. Birdie decides to go to the source and begins going to places Li Ming Na was formerly. She eventually discovers that Li Ming Na was in a relationship with one of the members of the Eriksen family notorious for having a serial killer, patricide, and other less tasteful acts. She keeps digging deeper and eventually finds the place where Li Ming Na went missing. 

The book is also split up into newspaper articles about members of the Eriksen family and the crimes they committed. 

Slowly the story comes together. I was trying to figure out who the murderer was and what happened to Li Ming Na. There were multiple "twists" at the end that had me gasping. I was a little disappointed in the ending, but as a true crime lover, I am always more fascinated when the story is more gruesome (sorry I know that's horrible). 

As far as content warnings go, there are a few, some of which are obvious. There's emotional abuse, murder, violence, violence against animals, sexual content, and more. Please keep this in mind before reading this book. Personally, I recommend listening to the audiobook if you like them. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and hope you will too. 

Review: Pageboy by Elliot Page Narrated by Elliot Page

 

I had been wanting to read (or listen) to Elliot Page's book since I first learned it had come out. A road trip to visit my boyfriend for spring break ended up being the perfect time to finally get into this book. I listened to the audiobook which Page narrated himself. There's just something so appealing about an author reading their own memoir. It's like listening to a friend tell their life story. 

There are lots of things I could say about Pageboy, but I will start by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Page is very open with his story, recounting very personal details from his life. He starts by clarifying that his book isn't THE queer story, simply his own experience. I love how he makes it clear that his story is not the story that people should take in as what it is like for all queer people. He seems hopeful that his story will help others and I think there is a lot of comfort in his honesty. 

Page jumps around through his life telling different stories. He talks about the complications that come with realizing you're gay and eventually the complications that come with realizing you're trans. His is a story of finding himself repeatedly. 

Like many queer people, he faced backlash from peers, snide remarks, complicated female friendships (queer women and queer formerly women know that experience all too well), body issues, identity issues, etc. A lot of the experiences he talks about are ones that myself and other queer people I know have expressed. 

There were many parts of his story that I resonated with, but at the time, the part in particular that I felt was seeing me was his talk about his eating disorder. At the time of listening to this book, I was recovering from my own eating disorder (something that I have struggled with since middle school, but only really acknowledged recently). He talks about being unable to eat things. Not an "oh I can't, I shouldn't", but a physical inability to swallow. I felt a sense of not being alone. 

He describes his experiences acting and the way that it impacted his life. At one point he had a stalker which he details. He also had many secret relationships to maintain his image or the image of his partner within the media. 

This book was a hard read(listen). Page's life was filled with a lot of really hard things. He talks about sexual assaults he experienced, eating disorders, the bullying he experienced from his own family, transphobia, homophobia, self-harm, and more. There were some instances in which he described injuries he experienced rather graphically. At some points, I had to stop the audio and collect myself before listening on. 

As mentioned above, there are difficult topics within this book so you should be advised before listening/reading. There is mention of sexual assault, eating disorders, physical assault, graphic descriptions of injury, self-harm, and more. Please take this into consideration before reading the book. 

Overall, I really loved this book. It was very intimate and personal even for a memoir. Page's ability to share his life story was deeply engaging. I highly recommend this book. 

Review: Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

 

I picked this book up during the Trans Rights Readathon. I do have a Youtube video where I talk about it and my own experience with gender, so be sure to check that out if you're interested. 

This is a graphic memoir of Maia Kobabe's life as e learns about eir identity. E details realizing e didn't feel like a girl (which was eir assigned at birth gender). E felt like eir body wasn't right, e didn't understand what e was supposed to about eir body. It's really a journey of this doesn't work, this doesn't work, this doesn't work until e figured out what e wanted to identify with. Finding the right pronouns (e/em/eir). Coming out to people, especially at a time when there was a lack of knowledge about gender-nonconforming people. Coming out to people who viewed being transgender or nonbinary as misogyny. Trying out things sexually and relationship-wise and realizing it didn't work. Eventually realizing what made em most comfortable. 

I think for me, as I talk about in my Youtube video, it resonates a lot as a person who's always struggled with gender identity. I think reading this really helped me to realize that I need to stop trying to fit perfectly into every identity I think is right for me. I don't fit into woman perfectly, I don't fit into nonbinary perfectly, I don't fit into asexuality perfectly. I'm coming to realize that, that's okay and it's okay not to define myself. 

I think that this is a great book for people who want to know more about the experience of trans and nonbinary people (from one person's perspective, of course, this isn't the experience of every trans and nonbinary person). I also think it's a great read if you are someone who is questioning your own gender and maybe questioning asexuality. I think that reading this will help you to work through that a little bit as you think about what Kobabe writes. 

There are some heavy content warnings in this book. There is gender dysphoria, medical trauma (it's more about Maia's genital dysphoria and how that makes em unable to get a gynecological exam), sexual content, and more. There is also the mention of Harry Potter houses so if that is something that makes you uncomfortable (because JK Rowling is a bigot who hates trans people), then just be aware of that. For a better list of content warnings, check out StoryGraph for a list from both the author and other readers. 

If you're interested in purchasing the book, you can help me out as well as not supporting Amazon and instead, supporting local bookstores by buying the book on Bookshop.org. 

As always, happy reading, and I will see you soon. 

Review: Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick

 I received this book from Simon & Schuster as a part of their book club favorites program. 

Forget Me Not is the story of two young women who have made plans to leave their closed-minded hometown and move to California to be together. Just before they're about to move, Stevie (our point of view character) visits Nora on her farm and has an accident. Stevie wakes up in the hospital with no memory of the past two years. No memory of Nora or coming out. Stevie has to figure out life with no memories in an older body. She finds that things aren't as they were two years ago. She doesn't hang out with her friends, she doesn't hang out with her mom, and her dad is mostly uninterested in talking to her. To relieve some of the pressure of remembering, she hangs out with Nora, who she believes she doesn't have a past with. As the two spend more time together, Stevie starts to feel things she hadn't felt before. 

This was a great coming-of-age story that I really enjoyed reading. The love was very sweet, but it was really about Stevie finding herself again. The small town they live in is reminiscent of the small towns I've lived in, where people grow up to be closed-minded. I think many queer people and people of color have had experiences like Stevie's where their friends are much more open-minded when they're younger but grow up to be just as awful as their parents. I read this book in two days. I was absolutely in love with it from the first few pages. The author actually co-wrote another book with her wife recently. 

I highly recommend this book to everyone, but especially to queer people and people who are struggling with their own identity. Despite a lot of the harder stuff, it really is a feel-good read. I was sobbing by the end of it (in a good way). As far as content warnings are concerned, there is homophobia, xenophobia, Asian hate, mild sexual content, bodily injury, memory loss, and more. Please check out StoryGraph for a full list of content warnings as provided by other readers. 

As always, happy reading! 

Review: Angels Before Man by rafael nicolás

Let me tell y'all one thing from the start, the description of this book on Amazon was very misleading. I was not prepared for the way this book took me and broke me. Before I talk about this book, I'm going to give a content warning that this can bring up some religious trauma. Please be kind to yourself when choosing to read this review and this book. Also, if you're religious, this book may be offensive to you, so again, this may be a review you want to skip. Also, I can't talk about this book without SPOILERS so I apologize in advance. 

Let's set the scene. I'm scrolling through Instagram and see one of my mutuals posting this book with its lovely cover. I hear the description. It sounds like something I'd enjoy. I hop on over to the Kindle app and borrow it from Kindle Unlimited. At first, this book is making me sob because it's so sweet. I'm waiting for the bad stuff to happen, knowing it will come, but not expecting it to be as bad as it got in the book. Then very quickly, everything went downhill. It changed from sweet to very traumatic: gore, violence, etc. I'm shocked because I was not expecting this at all, but I'm so invested in the book that I can't just stop reading it. This book taught me that I can read with tears gushing out of my eyes. I just keep reading even though it hurts so bad. It's so beautifully written, though, and I'm like, yes, please hurt me more. I finish it, and I'm wrecked. I'm sobbing. I can't even think about it without crying. I keep trying to record a video or even simple stuff, but again, I'm crying. I read the highlighted quotes, crying. After I stopped crying, though, I felt so good. I loved this book. I really needed the emotional damage it provided me. Writing this, I want to go read it again. I need like 600 paperback copies. I'm ready to write English papers on this book. This is probably one of my favorite books ever. 

So what was this beautifully painful book I read about? It's a retelling of Lucifer's fall from grace. In this, he falls in love with Michael, and that causes his fall from grace. That's essentially the description on Amazon. That makes it seem like it's this heartbreaking story about falling in love being someone's downfall which it is. However, it leaves out the important details. 

The book starts with Lucifer's coming into consciousness. We, as the reader, get to watch him discover everything for the first time. We get to see as he sees that he is painfully beautiful. We see as he realizes his purpose. We see him build friendships. We see how shy he is. We see how entirely devoted to God he is. And we see when he and Michael first meet. Their relationship is so sweet and tender. And although God says that angels are made whole and don't need another angel to fulfill them, the angels all seem to have someone that compliments them. For Lucifer and Michael, it's each other. But in his love, Michael teaches Lucifer something that really changes him, pride. 

(Spoilers start here)

We see as Lucifer becomes more prideful and more devoted to Michael, he is punished by God. And slowly, Lucifer changes and does these horrible things. Michael loves Lucifer dearly and is blind to his behavior. Lucifer becomes emboldened by his punishments. He begins to create an act reserved solely for God. He changes from the sweet, devoted person he was into this cruel, vain being. He was resistant to it at first, but he gives in when God tells him he is the evil within himself. Lucifer decides he must replace God, and in order to do so, he must pull all the other angels down with him. He begins creating acts of great violence, he teaches the angels sex, and he teaches them to lie. And Michael, in his love for Lucifer, believes that he can be redeemed even when he has done unforgivable things. 

Lucifer begs Michael to rule with him, to be by his side. And throughout his downfall, he keeps thinking, "I waited for your touch to save me." But Michael denies him, and Lucifer wonders if he imagined all the things he saw in Michael if he was just looking at himself reflected onto Michael. Still, he doesn't give up hope that Michael will choose him above God if it comes down to it, and it does. God commands Michael to take Lucifer down, and Michael pleads with Lucifer again to stop, to take it all back, and to repent. Lucifer won't, and he asks Michael if he loved him. And Michael delivers to of the lines that hit me so deep within me. First, '"You've spoiled me dirty, ruined me."' And second, the one that really broke me, '"You're everything to me, the stars and the moons, the heat and the cold, the earth and the seeds, the waters and the flowers, but you are not God."' And I don't know why that hit me so hard. Perhaps because I, too, feel that there are things more important, bigger than an all-encompassing love. I believe that what is right matters more than who I love.  And I do not believe in the strict rules of sin, but I do believe that kindness is my god. Lucifer lost kindness, lost rightness, lost God in his fall from grace, and that was not a path that Michael could follow. 

(Spoilers done) 

I could write and speak forever in this book. It has impacted me in ways that there are no words to explain. This book broke me in ways that healed me. I loved this book. It is beautifully written, I hope to write something half as beautifully as this. And I don't reread books, but I think I'll reread this one, and I think it'll impact me as if I were reading it for the first time. 

I'm not sure I can say I recommend this book. I feel that Tiktok sound of you don't have to like it because it was made for me. I don't know that it would impact others in the way it impacted me. I don't know that others will find it as beautiful as I did. I don't know that the hurt won't be too much. I love this book with my whole heart. 

As far as content warnings are concerned, this book is very dark. It contains extreme gore, murder, torture, sexual content (not really consensual), religious trauma, and more. StoryGraph has an extremely long list of content warnings as provided by other readers. Please check out the content warnings, this book is intense. I didn't before I read it, and I was not prepared. Did I learn my lesson? Will I now be looking at content warnings? Probably not. Most of the time, I don't even know what the book I'm going to read is about. I'm very irresponsible with my mental health. Don't be like me. 

You can get this book as a part of your Kindle Unlimited subscription. 

Happy reading! 

Review: The Blessed and the Cursed by Jade Musto

 I reviewed this book for Reedsy Discovery.

A forbidden romance between two young men who've loved each other for years. One, the prince, is dependent on the other, the nature blessed. Blossom is a man with rare powers that allow him to harness the powers of all nature's deities. Asher is the prince, but he was born with a death mark that only Blossom can heal. The two have been in love for years, but something keeps Blossom from acting on it. As the two's feelings grow and Blossom's secrets emerge, they find that Blossom might not be the only one hiding things.

This book was very easy to like. The romance is lovely and tender and drew me in right away. Blossom's secrets are kept from the reader for a long time, making them more interesting as they begin to piece together. I found the character's to be well-developed and unique. What I liked most was the magic system established in this book. The sun, moon, earth, fire, or water deities bless can the characters. These blessings give the people that are able to receive them abilities related to the blessing. Only Blossom has the ability to be blessed by all deities. Despite some of the more intense content in the book, it was a cozy read for me. The world sounds beautiful, and the characters seem like good friends. Musto did a great job balancing character growth, world-building, magic system creation, and the story. I also really appreciated the LGBTQIA+ characters in the story. In this world, they seem commonplace with same-gender partners and people who use they/them pronouns.

I recommend this book for LGBTQIA+, fantasy, and romance lovers. I found the balance between romance and fantasy to be well-maintained. A nature lover will likely also enjoy the aspect of nature powers. I think this is a book to check out. I enjoyed reading it. There are some content warnings to be aware of, and I will list some here. There are descriptions of physical abuse, sexual assault, bodily injury, and sexual content (mild). Overall, this was a great read, and I can't wait to see what else Musto puts out.

You can use my Bookshop.org to order the book. This will help support indie bookstores, and I get a portion of the sale. 

As always, happy reading! 

Review: Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

 

I read this book as a part of the trans rights readathon but had wanted to read it for a very long time. 

Manhunt is a horror novel that takes place in a post-apocalyptic version of the US, specifically the Northeast. The world has fallen apart due to a disease that causes anyone with higher testosterone levels to turn into animalistic monsters. This means that most men, transwomen not on estrogen, and other people with conditions causing higher testosterone levels have become these monsters. The story follows Fran and Beth, two transwomen who have to hunt these men and remove their testicles and other organs to keep their testosterone levels low enough to remain themselves. 

As if ravaging monsters that rape and eat people wasn't enough, terfs (trans-exclusive radical feminists) have decided to make it their duty to eradicate transwomen. Fran, Beth, and any other transwomen have to live in fear and caution to avoid being left to turn into a beast by the terf army. There's also Robbie, a transman living alone in the woods, killing off the men he can. Until his path collides with Fran and Beth, and he gets swept up into their lives. And there's also Indi, a doctor, a friend to Beth and Fran, and a fat woman. Even in the apocalypse, Indi always has to prove her worth and ability as a fat person to everyone else. Even as a doctor who makes estrogen, she isn't respected outside her friend group. 

This book is a lot. It's gruesome and violent from the get-go. Sexual intimacy is twisted by the backdrop of a dangerous world. The friendships and loves are desperate. The anti-trans sentiment is difficult to deal with when the world has ended. This is a great exploration of the possible extent that transphobes could go. It's an exploration of what it means to win. It is an exploration of what it means to be good in a world where goodness doesn't exist. 

It was everything I had hoped for and so much more. I was disturbed, heartbroken, and frightened. This is not a story for the faint of heart. It's not a story for everyone, and that's okay. This book's content warnings list is extremely long, but I will list the most notable. Transphobia is heavy in this book as well as violence, graphic injury, sexual assault, body horror, fatphobia, self-harm, and more. Please, please check out StoryGraph for a full list of these possible content warnings. For a book like this, it is essential to be aware of what you're getting into and make sure you have the emotional space to consume the content. Please be safe and kind to yourself when reading. 

Despite the intense nature of this book, it is still one I highly recommend. If you are a horror fan or enjoy queer literature, you should consider checking this book out. 

If you'd like to purchase this book, head over to Bookshop.org, an alternative to Amazon and where I get a portion of the sales made from my recommendations. 

As always, happy reading! 

Update!

For any lovers of my writing, I have a story up on Kindle Vella now. The first two episodes are available now, and another is scheduled to release on Friday. The first three episodes of Kindle Vella stories are completely free. The fourth episode will release Monday, 4/24/23. 

I would very much appreciate you trying it out and maybe even giving it a like. Writing is a big passion of mine, and I'm hoping to break into the field. 

Happy reading!

Review: Blood of the Orc Prince by Lionel Hart

 

This is the book that follows Claimed by the Orc Prince. There will be spoilers for the first book so if you don't want those, go ahead and skip this post. 

In this book, we are still following Zorvut and Taegan. However, now war has broken out between the Elves and Orcs. Zorvut wants to find his human father to see if he can train him to properly use his magic. The couple ventures out of the Elven kingdom and embark on a long journey to a port town where Zorvut's father lives. As Zorvut is learning magic, Taegan feels a strain on their relationship forming. He's worried and homesick which leads him to do something very stupid. 

I didn't like this book as much as I liked the first one. I still really like the relationship between Zorvut and Taegan, but this book dragged on. There wasn't as much plot/action until the very end of the book. It was a lot of Taegan talking about how lonely he was and Zorvut doing magic. With that being said, I still like this book and am planning on reading the last book in the series. 

I suspect that the last book will pick up on the plot and adventure given where this one left off. I'm excited to see what happens to this couple and finish their journey with them. I think I will also try some of Lionel Hart's other works because I did enjoy these books. 

For content warnings, this book does contain adult sexual content (there's not a ton of it in it, but it is pretty spicy), there is bodily harm, and more. StoryGraph doesn't have very many content warnings, but I do always recommend checking there before reading. 

If you would like to purchase this book and contribute to my reviews, you can purchase it from Bookshop.org where I get a percentage of your purchase. 

As always, happy reading and I will see you soon with more reviews.