Review: Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

 

I picked this book up during the Trans Rights Readathon. I do have a Youtube video where I talk about it and my own experience with gender, so be sure to check that out if you're interested. 

This is a graphic memoir of Maia Kobabe's life as e learns about eir identity. E details realizing e didn't feel like a girl (which was eir assigned at birth gender). E felt like eir body wasn't right, e didn't understand what e was supposed to about eir body. It's really a journey of this doesn't work, this doesn't work, this doesn't work until e figured out what e wanted to identify with. Finding the right pronouns (e/em/eir). Coming out to people, especially at a time when there was a lack of knowledge about gender-nonconforming people. Coming out to people who viewed being transgender or nonbinary as misogyny. Trying out things sexually and relationship-wise and realizing it didn't work. Eventually realizing what made em most comfortable. 

I think for me, as I talk about in my Youtube video, it resonates a lot as a person who's always struggled with gender identity. I think reading this really helped me to realize that I need to stop trying to fit perfectly into every identity I think is right for me. I don't fit into woman perfectly, I don't fit into nonbinary perfectly, I don't fit into asexuality perfectly. I'm coming to realize that, that's okay and it's okay not to define myself. 

I think that this is a great book for people who want to know more about the experience of trans and nonbinary people (from one person's perspective, of course, this isn't the experience of every trans and nonbinary person). I also think it's a great read if you are someone who is questioning your own gender and maybe questioning asexuality. I think that reading this will help you to work through that a little bit as you think about what Kobabe writes. 

There are some heavy content warnings in this book. There is gender dysphoria, medical trauma (it's more about Maia's genital dysphoria and how that makes em unable to get a gynecological exam), sexual content, and more. There is also the mention of Harry Potter houses so if that is something that makes you uncomfortable (because JK Rowling is a bigot who hates trans people), then just be aware of that. For a better list of content warnings, check out StoryGraph for a list from both the author and other readers. 

If you're interested in purchasing the book, you can help me out as well as not supporting Amazon and instead, supporting local bookstores by buying the book on Bookshop.org. 

As always, happy reading, and I will see you soon. 

Review: Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick

 I received this book from Simon & Schuster as a part of their book club favorites program. 

Forget Me Not is the story of two young women who have made plans to leave their closed-minded hometown and move to California to be together. Just before they're about to move, Stevie (our point of view character) visits Nora on her farm and has an accident. Stevie wakes up in the hospital with no memory of the past two years. No memory of Nora or coming out. Stevie has to figure out life with no memories in an older body. She finds that things aren't as they were two years ago. She doesn't hang out with her friends, she doesn't hang out with her mom, and her dad is mostly uninterested in talking to her. To relieve some of the pressure of remembering, she hangs out with Nora, who she believes she doesn't have a past with. As the two spend more time together, Stevie starts to feel things she hadn't felt before. 

This was a great coming-of-age story that I really enjoyed reading. The love was very sweet, but it was really about Stevie finding herself again. The small town they live in is reminiscent of the small towns I've lived in, where people grow up to be closed-minded. I think many queer people and people of color have had experiences like Stevie's where their friends are much more open-minded when they're younger but grow up to be just as awful as their parents. I read this book in two days. I was absolutely in love with it from the first few pages. The author actually co-wrote another book with her wife recently. 

I highly recommend this book to everyone, but especially to queer people and people who are struggling with their own identity. Despite a lot of the harder stuff, it really is a feel-good read. I was sobbing by the end of it (in a good way). As far as content warnings are concerned, there is homophobia, xenophobia, Asian hate, mild sexual content, bodily injury, memory loss, and more. Please check out StoryGraph for a full list of content warnings as provided by other readers. 

As always, happy reading! 

Review: Angels Before Man by rafael nicolás

Let me tell y'all one thing from the start, the description of this book on Amazon was very misleading. I was not prepared for the way this book took me and broke me. Before I talk about this book, I'm going to give a content warning that this can bring up some religious trauma. Please be kind to yourself when choosing to read this review and this book. Also, if you're religious, this book may be offensive to you, so again, this may be a review you want to skip. Also, I can't talk about this book without SPOILERS so I apologize in advance. 

Let's set the scene. I'm scrolling through Instagram and see one of my mutuals posting this book with its lovely cover. I hear the description. It sounds like something I'd enjoy. I hop on over to the Kindle app and borrow it from Kindle Unlimited. At first, this book is making me sob because it's so sweet. I'm waiting for the bad stuff to happen, knowing it will come, but not expecting it to be as bad as it got in the book. Then very quickly, everything went downhill. It changed from sweet to very traumatic: gore, violence, etc. I'm shocked because I was not expecting this at all, but I'm so invested in the book that I can't just stop reading it. This book taught me that I can read with tears gushing out of my eyes. I just keep reading even though it hurts so bad. It's so beautifully written, though, and I'm like, yes, please hurt me more. I finish it, and I'm wrecked. I'm sobbing. I can't even think about it without crying. I keep trying to record a video or even simple stuff, but again, I'm crying. I read the highlighted quotes, crying. After I stopped crying, though, I felt so good. I loved this book. I really needed the emotional damage it provided me. Writing this, I want to go read it again. I need like 600 paperback copies. I'm ready to write English papers on this book. This is probably one of my favorite books ever. 

So what was this beautifully painful book I read about? It's a retelling of Lucifer's fall from grace. In this, he falls in love with Michael, and that causes his fall from grace. That's essentially the description on Amazon. That makes it seem like it's this heartbreaking story about falling in love being someone's downfall which it is. However, it leaves out the important details. 

The book starts with Lucifer's coming into consciousness. We, as the reader, get to watch him discover everything for the first time. We get to see as he sees that he is painfully beautiful. We see as he realizes his purpose. We see him build friendships. We see how shy he is. We see how entirely devoted to God he is. And we see when he and Michael first meet. Their relationship is so sweet and tender. And although God says that angels are made whole and don't need another angel to fulfill them, the angels all seem to have someone that compliments them. For Lucifer and Michael, it's each other. But in his love, Michael teaches Lucifer something that really changes him, pride. 

(Spoilers start here)

We see as Lucifer becomes more prideful and more devoted to Michael, he is punished by God. And slowly, Lucifer changes and does these horrible things. Michael loves Lucifer dearly and is blind to his behavior. Lucifer becomes emboldened by his punishments. He begins to create an act reserved solely for God. He changes from the sweet, devoted person he was into this cruel, vain being. He was resistant to it at first, but he gives in when God tells him he is the evil within himself. Lucifer decides he must replace God, and in order to do so, he must pull all the other angels down with him. He begins creating acts of great violence, he teaches the angels sex, and he teaches them to lie. And Michael, in his love for Lucifer, believes that he can be redeemed even when he has done unforgivable things. 

Lucifer begs Michael to rule with him, to be by his side. And throughout his downfall, he keeps thinking, "I waited for your touch to save me." But Michael denies him, and Lucifer wonders if he imagined all the things he saw in Michael if he was just looking at himself reflected onto Michael. Still, he doesn't give up hope that Michael will choose him above God if it comes down to it, and it does. God commands Michael to take Lucifer down, and Michael pleads with Lucifer again to stop, to take it all back, and to repent. Lucifer won't, and he asks Michael if he loved him. And Michael delivers to of the lines that hit me so deep within me. First, '"You've spoiled me dirty, ruined me."' And second, the one that really broke me, '"You're everything to me, the stars and the moons, the heat and the cold, the earth and the seeds, the waters and the flowers, but you are not God."' And I don't know why that hit me so hard. Perhaps because I, too, feel that there are things more important, bigger than an all-encompassing love. I believe that what is right matters more than who I love.  And I do not believe in the strict rules of sin, but I do believe that kindness is my god. Lucifer lost kindness, lost rightness, lost God in his fall from grace, and that was not a path that Michael could follow. 

(Spoilers done) 

I could write and speak forever in this book. It has impacted me in ways that there are no words to explain. This book broke me in ways that healed me. I loved this book. It is beautifully written, I hope to write something half as beautifully as this. And I don't reread books, but I think I'll reread this one, and I think it'll impact me as if I were reading it for the first time. 

I'm not sure I can say I recommend this book. I feel that Tiktok sound of you don't have to like it because it was made for me. I don't know that it would impact others in the way it impacted me. I don't know that others will find it as beautiful as I did. I don't know that the hurt won't be too much. I love this book with my whole heart. 

As far as content warnings are concerned, this book is very dark. It contains extreme gore, murder, torture, sexual content (not really consensual), religious trauma, and more. StoryGraph has an extremely long list of content warnings as provided by other readers. Please check out the content warnings, this book is intense. I didn't before I read it, and I was not prepared. Did I learn my lesson? Will I now be looking at content warnings? Probably not. Most of the time, I don't even know what the book I'm going to read is about. I'm very irresponsible with my mental health. Don't be like me. 

You can get this book as a part of your Kindle Unlimited subscription. 

Happy reading! 

Review: The Blessed and the Cursed by Jade Musto

 I reviewed this book for Reedsy Discovery.

A forbidden romance between two young men who've loved each other for years. One, the prince, is dependent on the other, the nature blessed. Blossom is a man with rare powers that allow him to harness the powers of all nature's deities. Asher is the prince, but he was born with a death mark that only Blossom can heal. The two have been in love for years, but something keeps Blossom from acting on it. As the two's feelings grow and Blossom's secrets emerge, they find that Blossom might not be the only one hiding things.

This book was very easy to like. The romance is lovely and tender and drew me in right away. Blossom's secrets are kept from the reader for a long time, making them more interesting as they begin to piece together. I found the character's to be well-developed and unique. What I liked most was the magic system established in this book. The sun, moon, earth, fire, or water deities bless can the characters. These blessings give the people that are able to receive them abilities related to the blessing. Only Blossom has the ability to be blessed by all deities. Despite some of the more intense content in the book, it was a cozy read for me. The world sounds beautiful, and the characters seem like good friends. Musto did a great job balancing character growth, world-building, magic system creation, and the story. I also really appreciated the LGBTQIA+ characters in the story. In this world, they seem commonplace with same-gender partners and people who use they/them pronouns.

I recommend this book for LGBTQIA+, fantasy, and romance lovers. I found the balance between romance and fantasy to be well-maintained. A nature lover will likely also enjoy the aspect of nature powers. I think this is a book to check out. I enjoyed reading it. There are some content warnings to be aware of, and I will list some here. There are descriptions of physical abuse, sexual assault, bodily injury, and sexual content (mild). Overall, this was a great read, and I can't wait to see what else Musto puts out.

You can use my Bookshop.org to order the book. This will help support indie bookstores, and I get a portion of the sale. 

As always, happy reading!